29.10.02 | 3:00 pm
YesterDay
Hey,
As far as a little credit goes I'd like to say that I could give you credit, but this is what it comes back to. I know that you would never physically cheat on me, I know that and I give you full credit there. I'm just a little skeptical at what other little "harmless" endeavours would happen. I seriously don't think you would do anything like that again, but this is part of the whole "trust" thing. Because if I'd said to you "would you ever email naked photos of yourself to some woman in America" after we'd been going out for like 6 months, you would have turned around and said exactly the same thing "a little credit please!". Now I know what you're capable of, and like I said I'm not trying to bring you down and make you feel like an asshole. You don't deserve to be hurt, even though you hurt me I would never wish it back upon you. I trust you to a degree, however not implicitly yet, but I'll try and give you as much credit as I can.
*sigh*
....
*hug*
I'm gonna miss you tonight. Are you coming to the inspection tomorrow afternoon? I just remembered you said you wanted to be there that's all...
Love always,
Mel.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jus Pante" To: Sent: Tuesday, October 29, 2002 9:59 AM Subject: Re: yesterday hey babe sorry i didnt reply sooner i've been stuck into this javascript stuff... i know what you mean and even thought u said u wouldnt put anything past me i'd still like to recieve a little credit in that im not so stupid to go and cheat on you for approval.. I love you... dont worry about hurting me... i more than likely deserved it... I'll talk 2 u soon i have to do some of this assignment... P.S. im sorry this is only a brief email Loving u always Jus From: "Melinda Leigh" To: "Justin" Subject: yesterday Date: Tue, 29 Oct 2002 08:56:01 +0800 Hey, I just mainly wanted to apologise for yesterday... I had misinterpreted some of the messages that I found the other day. Most of the actual conversations were fairly benign, however you must have been good friends with "Diana" because you were very friendly with her. The only reason I found it bothering was because it was after we had been going out all that time. The same, I suppose, as with the RMB events. I didn't actually stop to think about how you are feeling until this morning when I started writing this email. I can only imagine what it would feel like not to be trusted by someone you love. And I would wonder if you imagined the same about what it would feel like to have your trust broken by someone you love. It was, as you already know and as I've told you before, one of the biggest mistakes of your life and our relationship has suffered at the hands of your weakness. But like I said last night in my entry, I can almost half understand why you did it. I've been through the same stage, (although it was a couple of years ago). I've told you about it before as well, the Bedfordale party, after I'd broken up with Joe. I got with Clint, Del and Matt at the one party, just to prove to myself that I could have any guy I wanted. And at the time it was so fucking awesome and I wouldn't change it if I could. It wasn't a very mature or careful way of going about it, but I was 15. I understand that people just need that reassurance while they're in a serious relationship that other people apart from their significant other still find them attractive, but you're almost 18. You've got to find some other way to seek that reassurance and make sure that it is completely harmless. Because as you've hopefully learned, some things that you think might be harmless can be very damaging. You should know by now that seeing you talk to any girl online that I don't know upsets me, especially when you call them babe, give them compliments or ask for/drool over photos. Whether you intentions are harmless or not, I'm especially more sensitive to things like that, which is something I will hopefully be able to get over with time. Do you remember the article I read in Cleo, that Saturday we went to Subiaco right after RMB? He had been dating his girlfriend for 2 years, and cheated on her just to feel reassured that he still "had what it took". Now just because I'm saying I half understand why you did it, you know me well enough to know that it certainly doesn't excuse you and it certainly doesn't warrant you doing it again or anything like it. Unfortunately, to date, I wouldn't put anything past you. Because you've done things you promised you'd never do and, for me, it's really really hard to recover from something like that. It's not a matter of just getting over it, it may be that easy for you but it's not for me. It never has been and never will be about me trying to make you feel bad, me trying to get back at you, trying to make you feel like a bastard. I'm not doing any of this on purpose, trust me, it's simply the way I feel. I feel much better that it came out in the open last night, it was good being face to face because questions couldnt be avoided or ignored. I'm sorry if I've hurt you, it wasn't intentionally. And hopefully, this has been the RMB closure that I've sought after for so long. I love you Jus. From Mel.