16.02.03 | 8:06 am
A coupla updates
So, I think it’s been a fair while since my last entry. Here’s what’s been happening as of late.
Friday was V-day and a fantastic one at that (I think I did write an entry about that day). Saturday I didn’t do much, cleaned the house in the morning and then slept for most of the afternoon. Went to Amanda’s last night with Will, Drewz and Josh, met Ryan and his Mel (fuck his car is sweet as!), met Andrew’s Amanda (who actually turned out to be a lot nicer than I thought she’d be) and that was about it. It was a pretty shit party, everyone was too fried to do anything but watch TV, so we took Drewz’s car and Ryan’s car up to Gelaré in Mount Lawley where we had coffee and ice cream for a bit. I think we ended up leaving Amanda’s at about 10:30, that is after getting there at like half six. Then we came back to my place and watched Tomcats for a bit before a full out war started involving James as well as us 4, and a hell of a load of cushions lol. It was hilarious, although you almost had to be there. They left at about 12 because Macca was just about falling asleep. He’d been wrecked all night and wasn’t looking too healthy. “You’re never gonna see me on drugs again” he said to me when we were in Mount Lawley. “I’ve learned my lesson.” I was more than a little sceptical, to say the least.
Gess called last night as well, it was so good to talk to her, she’s missed out on all the good goss and all! I invited her to come ice skating with us guys on Wednesday night, so I hope she comes :)
And, I think I might finally be starting to get over this whole Josh thing. I’m not entirely sure though. I have concluded that he’s definitely not my type and not the type of guy I’d usually see as boyfriend material. In the beginning I was convinced it was a purely physical attraction and thus I was certain it would pass, but the more I get to know Josh…. I don’t know. He is a GREAT mate, certainly best friend material and there are many elements about him physically and mentally that are appealing. I just… I don’t know. I’m definitely not ready for a relationship yet. With anyone. I’m still at that stage where everyone pales in comparison to my last boyfriend, ie. Jus. And its true. Everyone does pale in comparison, in almost every way. I had a dream about Jus a couple of nights ago, his whole family was in it towards the end. And I woke up almost in tears. I missed the s.o.b. so much it was breaking my heart all over again. So it’s definitely not time for another serious relationship yet. I enjoy Josh’s company, he’s great to hang out with and he’s loads of fun and I think I’m happy to leave it at that for the moment. I think we both know there’s a little bit extra hanging in the air but we can deal with it. If something happens, it happens. I’m not going to avoid him like the plague; I am an attractive, single, just about 18 year old girl after all! But I’m certainly not going to throw myself into something I’m not ready to deal with yet. I’m glad that we’re at least gonna be wicked mates though, because he is a very, very cool guy :)
I was also a little concerned about William come Valentines Day. Will is a great mate as well, he’s excellent to talk to – he’s like my daily therapist! – and it’s impossible not to smile or laugh when you’re around him. And I really, really appreciate his gesture of the roses on V-day and I know they must have cost a fuck load, probably close to $100. He said that I mean a lot to him, and he means a lot to me as well, but I don’t want to end up in another situation similar to mine and Andrew’s. I can’t really see it happening, due to several reasons. Will’s a lot more accepting than Andrew from what I’ve seen to start off with. If he knew I wasn’t interested in him as a boyfriend then he wouldn’t let it bring either of us down, he wouldn’t let it come between us as friends. Dad said to me on Saturday morning, before the flowers came, that he thought Will liked me. I was like… hmm. And then the flowers came and Dad was like “I told you so” and I was like double hmm. Like I said, I really appreciate the thought and gesture behind the V-day gift, I just really don’t want to mislead Will into believing that I think of him anymore than a great friend. I seem to be a magnet for unwanted attractions *grimace*. And yes, I know how vain that sounded but back off, I couldn’t think of any other way to say it. Will also knows how I feel about Josh and he wouldn’t get in the way of that, plus he also knows how uncomfortable I am with the notion of unwanted attractions, i.e. with Andrew.
What can I say? They’re great guys. And I’m lucky to have them, even as friends.
There’s more to say, but there always is.
Much love guys.