02.03.03 | 5:26 pm
After the morning after
Well its the afternoon now and there still isn't really much more to say about Josh. James went out with Drewz this afternoon, they went to the movies and now they're at Josh's house WITHOUT ME *pout* lol. They woke him up when they got there about 20 minutes ago and he was still feeling pretty seedy. Silly bugger. He, and all the others, drank a fair bit last night so I'm not at all suprised.
So as far as the "us" goes... well I'm not sure where we stand. It's kinda weird, well it IS weird, cause Josh is 19 this year and well, to put it bluntly, he lost his virginity to me last night. It was slightly unexpected, but not that much. We were sleeping in the same bed for Christ's sake and we'd both been drinking. So we're both lying in bed next to each other, intoxicated, and wearing next to nothing... You get the picture. I was kinda suprised that it got so far because I knew Josh was a virgin and I was like... uhh... lol, but I don't know if he's gonna make a real big thing of it and get really attached cause I was like his first and all that kinda shit. I dunno. I don't know what the fuck I want. Josh is a good friend and we get on great like that, last night was great as well and I don't regret it, but I don't know if I'm (a) ready for another relationship or (b) if Josh is boyfriend or just best friend material.
If anyone else knows (which I suspect they do) no one has said anything about it or acted differently. I think Ryan, Mel and Drewz would be smart enough to put two and two together, plus Josh went out for a walk with Drewz this morning and he's got Drewz and James round at his place now. I was kinda worried about how Andrew would react and I'm still worrying about how Macca is gonna react... But if Andrew does know I appreciate the way he's taking it! I may be coming across as self centered (again) but I don't really have much of a clue as to how Andrew REALLY feels about me these days. If it's like he always has then if I were him, I'd be pretty upset to find out he slept with my best mate. But things with Drewz have been good lately, we seem to be able to get on more, I dunno. We fuck around heaps but I just get a feeling like we're better friends. So its good :)
I haven't had a chance to talk to Josh about everything yet cause he was throwing his yellow guts up this morning on the lawn and he only just woke up when Andrew and James went round. So, I really have no idea what the fuck is going on.
Anyway I better cruise. Dinner's up soon. I wanna see Josh tonight, he might come round when Drewz drops James off though I doubt it. They'll probably be out all night just chilling at someone's place. So look fwd to updates guys, there's a lot of ironing out to be done in a few places here and there...
Much love guys.