31.05.04 | 8:46 pm
Another night, another dream
Aries: There was a time when you refused to compromise. You once said that you didn't know the meaning of surrender. Things are different now. You think you're in limbo, but this is actually the real world. Stop acting entitled. This is one struggle against others that might not be worth it. The odds and circumstances are on their side, and you have to admit that you're wearing down. So what's the point in fighting? Letting go is easy once you decide to do it. Free yourself from a system or illusion that isn't working. Seize the chance to start over.
Could anyone say it any simpler? Could they be more right? Could I get anymore of a sign without being smacked in the face with a stop sign?
So it was our one year anniversary today. One year since the very first time we made love and shared our bodies for the very time time, one year since the night that started it all, all the sex, the love, the pain...
And it meant so much more to me than it ever would to him. This whole relationship does.
He went to a joint 50th birthday party on Saturday night and so I drove up to his house about 9pm in the evening, thinking he would be home between 10 and 11 and that I would suprise him. By midnight the candles had all burnt out and I was getting sick of listening to Van Morrison, "Someone Like You" so I texted him, only to find he was out with Pete & Donna at the Onyx. He suggested that I go to his house and that he meet me there, so when I told him I had been there since 9:30 he was very suprised. I wrote him saying, "Stupid me decided to suprise you and it back fired - again. Only because its the weekend before the one anniversary we will ever see and the candles are all burnt out and I'm getting sick of listening to Van Morrison. See you when you get home." He realised what I was on about and told me he felt really bad when he got home at about 2am, because I had been waiting up for him all night.
But he made up for it on Sunday, took me out to Bell's Rapids in Brigadoon, where they hold a leg of the Avon Descent later in the year. It was a windy day, but it was warm in the valley and sheltered from the wind. We took Lochie down and ran around on the rocks and through the water, then sat down in the shade to have lunch and relax. It was so peaceful out in the countryside, listening to the water bubbling over the rocks, kids playing in the shallows. Very pleasant.
Then we stopped in at Houghton Wines on the way home, picked up a Merlot, a late picked Verdelho and a Chenin Blanc and had a quick look at the art exhibition down in the cellars. When we got home we were both tired and dozed for a couple of hours in front of the TV. We woke around 6 and decided on dinner at Portofinos down at Hillary's. Dinner was delicious, I had chilli mussels & spaghetti marinara which went excellently with the Merlot & Rome had the beef fillet with roasted shaved pumpkin, on a bed of spinage & mash. We then debated / argued for the rest of the wine & two coffees before going home to crash. I won't go into it too much tonight, what we argued about that is. Neither of us were very happy though.
He said "Happy Anniversary" this morning to make me happy, though I know he didn't mean it.
I'm looking after his house and Lochie for a couple of weeks while he is away in Coral Bay. I spent from last Tuesday to this Sunday just gone... after I was so determined to let it go. Weak.
Laney just got back from Europe and is staying with her sister Rosh, just down the road from Rome's place. She broke one of her ribs in a recent car accident and is having trouble getting another car.
Rome just got promoted as well, to State Operations Manager, though it hasn't been announced to the company yet.
He's trying to diet to lose some fat and build more definition in his muscles, more so after Laney said he was putting on weight (the stupid cow, he said). I try to support and encourage him as much as I can.
I'm so proud of him and the person he is, sometimes.
There's more to say, but then there always is.
"Another night, another dream, but always you..."