12.03.03 | 8:31 pm
So not the one, thank Christ
I have a feeling this is going to be one of those entries.
First of all, check out a few quick pics which I just chucked on a page at Geocities.com
So I have a fair bit to say about Justin (what's unusual there?) and I know Justin reads this even though he shouldn't and even though I'd prefer he didn't, but this IS my diary and if he doesn't like what he reads he should stop reading it, just like a couple of other people I keep telling who just don't seem to understand the concept behind an online journal.
But anyway. I was talking to a few people today and Justin came up a couple of times. I heard that he's hanging around with a bunch of dickheads now which doesn't suprise me at all. I've also got the impression (from what I've heard) that things aren't very serious with Casey at the moment so excuse me for being a bitter ex-girlfriend for saying I'll point and laugh if and when they break up. *shrug*. Of course, my sources could be extremely misinformed and yadda yadda ya, I'm sure Justin would say to me that his friends are great guys and that things are blossoming wonderfully with his perfect new girlfriend with a voice like honey, a body to die for and the sweetest thing alive. Pullease.
I got an email from Jus the other day, a forwarded one. And suprise surprise, all those pathetic online girls are back up there in close contact. I remember sexy_chicka18 in particular, how I found a chat file where Justin was (of course) flirting like mad with her. Her name was Kristy. And then days later he gets a phone call from a girl called Kristy. Of course, he insists it was a girl from work and that they were two different Kristy's, shrugged off the fact that he was telling the online one how much he wanted to jump on her (in the chat file) which of course he'd now deny black and blue. I rolled my eyes when I saw his email, felt a great surge of empathy for Casey and thought yeah, this is one of the reasons why I shouldn't be with a loser like this. Turns out I did sort of know Casey as well. I found a piece of paper with all these email addresses all over it in Justin's wallet ages ago. One of them I now know to be Casey's.
So once I started remembering the hundreds upon hundreds of young girls Justin used to flirt with on the net, it kinda brought back memories. Stuff like all the chat files, Kayla, Stassia, all the photos I found of teenybopper girls posing for him, the hordes of porn he used to go through not to MENTION the time I caught him emailing pictures of his cock to some woman in America. Oh yeah, you heard right *rolls eyes in digust*.
It made me laugh thinking back to it. How Justin said to me a few weeks after we broke up, "I don't lie". God, THAT put me in stitches!!! Like how he didn't lie about emailing photos of his hard on to an American woman, like he didn't lie about all the girls I DID catch him flirting with, like he didn't lie about being "not in the mood for a relationship right now, Mel", like he didn't lie when he told me he hadn't even spoken to Will (about his new girlfriend), like he didn't lie when he said "I do love you" about two weeks after we broke up, when he was going out with Casey and a million and one other fucking things I could write down if I had time to think about it. Christ. I really am better off without him. A liar. A player. An arrogant flirt. Online or in real life, the character is there. And the word "loser" springs to mind. Almost every one of my friends could tell it was over so long ago, because of how hard we had to try to keep things together. And it was his fucking fault. If he hadn't broken my trust in the first place, disrespected and betrayed me, lied to and deceived me, the relationship wouldn't have crumbled the way it did. Without trust, there is no love. Without love, there's not even any point. So suck on that one, love.
Anyway, I've had enough bitching, for now anyway. Just something I needed to get out.
Much love guys.