30.03.03 | 6:20 pm
All about men
Men hey. Can't live with the fuckers and can't live without 'em either. I'm sure 98% of men would say the same about women as well.
So here are the men in my life, leading and supporting actors.
Justin: is actually not really part of my life anymore. And at this stage I'm really happy with that. Jus isn't a bad person, part of me still cares for him a lot and probably always will. He was my first love and will stay with me forever. Its true what they say about people growing apart though. We had more than our fair share of "issues" and what it boiled down to was that we were just the wrong people for each other at the end of it all. He can be a great and wonderful guy and I'm happy that we were once in love, it was a great experience and of course you get to keep many memories for years to come. At this stage I haven't been able to completely let go of Justin so its hard for me to be able to have him as a casual part of my life, like him reading my diary, msging me and talking like normal people about normal stuff. I can't deal with it at the moment because I still feel for him. So I'm very content with leaving Justin to his life with Casey and keeping my life with me and my friends. And I've been suprised to find he's the one having difficulty leaving me alone. Its not as bad as it sounds, really. It has started to irk me a little though. He has this thing with reading my diary so I told him that I didn't want any part of him or his life to have anything to do with me or my life. And this was first said like a month ago and we were still talking about it today *rolls eyes*. *shrug* I don't know. Short from locking my diary (which is something I really really don't want to do) there's not a lot else I can do really. There's more to say, but about Justin, there always is.
Caleb: is similar to Justin in that he's not really in my life as such. He drifts in and out. For those of you who don't know the story behind K and I go here first, then goto my Dland cast page and then read this. Then you'll have the whole history on us and you'll kinda understand what I'm writing about him. Having K even in and out of my life and opposed to just in or just out is a lot to handle. Its hard having him right there next to me and knowing he's going to have to leave the very next day. I wish we could take the time to fall in love. If he hadn't have left, we would have I would never have met Justin and fallen for him. I miss K terribly and I have since he left. Lol. It's been almost 2 years and I'm not over him. Maybe cause he never hurt me like the others did. I can't put it into words... not K. I never have been able to. All I could ever say about him was that he was different, different even to Justin. And he always, always will be. Untouchable love.
Andrew: is becoming my best friend more and more every day. We've known each other about 4 years and we also have a lot of strange and unusual history. We've both done a lot of growing up just recently and our friendship is becoming a lot truer and a lot stronger. I'm happy with it :)
Josh & Makka: are different now than they used to be. They both started off as great mates but... the more I get to know them, the more I realise that we just don't click that much. We have fun when we hang out and stuff, but its not like it was before. Some people will think its to do with what happened between me and Josh... to a degree it is. Obviously Makka became slightly bitter and jealous because he liked me, I rejected him and I chose his best mate. But the more I found out about Josh as well, the more I realise not that he's a bad person or anything, just that he's not the right person for me and that he's not what I thought him to be like (not in a bad way). Things between us are different, although intangibly. You can't touch it but you can hear it in our voices, see it in our faces. Shame, really.
Andrew H. & Jade B.: are both from my work. I'm guessing Jade to be early twenties, Andrew mid twenties. Andrew is undeniably good looking, so much that I find it impossible to believe he's single. He's got a very boyish grin, he's a little quiet and shy, the sort that would blush and smile a lot. He's a nice man. Jade, I don't know as well, he's out in the workshop so I don't see him as often. But he's very laid back, Australian kinda guy, friendly, easy going. He's a nice guy too. Neither of them are that persuable. Yet.
Steffen: is an ultra fucking hot guy. He does modelling and TV work he's that good looking. Check out my cast page for particulars on him and read about how we met here. He's back on the guy scene, oh yes. After losing his phone for about a month, he messaged me this morning saying he was in Margs for 2 weeks but when he gets back he wants to meet up and "pick up where we left off" (or words to that extent in broken English/German. Made me grin, so I'm looking forward to seeing him again.
Then there's Dane, Will, Justin, Darren, Joe, Joel, Chris, Tom, Cale and a few other guys I could probably think of that aren't all necessarily romantically linked to me but each have a fair bit that could be written about them. Later. Much, much later.
Love guys.